Thou shalt not turn down a smoke. Never! This is the definitive rule to live by!
DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, while stoned and sucking nitrous oxide out of a balloon in the presence of two bongs abruptly decide to stand on your head, as you may topple over, spilling both bongs and getting bongwater all over the carpet.
If you don't know which way to pass it, just pass it to the left (You are supposed to anyway).
Never mess with the lighter when someone wants to light the bowl.
Never under any circumstances touch anybody else's bud without asking.
When you say you are going to match a bowl, make sure you can before you say so. And make sure it's of the same quality, because not everybody likes a tossed salad.
Never say to someone who has smoked their weed with you "I'm not high". It's rude.
Never roll seeds or stems in a joint, or blunt. You just get a headache, and burn holes in your clothes seeds explode like popcorn. Plus seeds stank!
Don't fuck with people when they're Stoned, let them enjoy the High.
If someone drops the weed, the person who spots it first should be strongly considered to take first greens.
NEVER NEVER NEVER! Show or tell anyone about what you are growing in the backyard!
Always be sure to break your weed up before you pack a bowl. Stems are no good for long term health and seeds taste like barbecued chicken some people are vegetarians.
If one has their own weed and they double hit it, it's their damn weed, don't bitch. Conversely, you don't have to ask to hit your own weed twice, its your weed.
General Smoking Etiquette
If a person passes on one round DO NOT assume that they are passing on the next round.
Never bitch about someone else's weed being no good! If you don't like it don't smoke it!
Cover your mouth when a hit starts kickin' your ass. No one needs to you cough and spit all over them, and besides, you don't want to risk damaging the goods!
If someone smokes you out and you have weed of your own, it's polite to match at least one bowl.
If you are privileged enough to afford nugs constantly, don't bitch about everyone else's schwag.
Always remember to smoke as much as possible and when you are fucked up quit, you wouldn't want to waste weed. When you're high you're high.
While smoking weed and you have to cough, never hold it in just because no one else has coughed. If you have to cough, cough (You get more stoned after you cough anyway).
When waiting in the rotation for the smoke, don't anxiously put your hand out, it'll get there. On the converse, if someone's bogarting the smoke, politely or humorously let them know, but it's never cool to bitch.
When smoking nugs, and there is a switch to a lesser quality (but no less appreciated) type of Bud, be kind and let the rest know, in case they want to handle their hits differently, if ya know what I mean.
ALWAYS CLEAN YOUR PLATE (finish your bong loads, everybody deserves a fresh hit).
If someone has not smoked weed from the particular device that you are using, make sure to help them out until they get the hang of it. You are not only just being' a good friend, but you aren't wasting your weed either.
General People Etiquette
Always remember to thank a person who has gotten you high.
Always ask before lighting a cigarette, just because a person lets you smoke-out in their house does not mean that you can smoke cigarettes.
Never go to someone's house expecting him or her to get you high. Thank them when they do get you high.
If you're a pot "virgin" or a light weight, let the fact be known. No one likes getting thrown up on or having a passed out stranger on their hands due to inexperienced toking.
If you've been invited to toke with someone don't bring strangers along unless the "tokey" is all right with it..
If you do bring someone along with you make sure they aren't buzz killers, mooches, or narcs.
If you're in a large group of people and only one person has weed, do not keep asking them to smoke. They are too many to smoke out sometimes. People don't want to waste all their money on everyone else.
If smoking in a dorm room, always pass the spoof directly after passing the bowl.
Always rag on somebody you know can't handle much but tries to clear a monster bong rip, and coughs their fuckin' brains out and pukes. (Especially in front of women).
You are not doing anyone a favor by smoking their weed. Never expect them to get up in order to pass you the bowl or remind them every time it's their hit.
Treat your smoke-out buddy the way you wanna be treated.
Never act grumpy or bitchy before smoking...just relax. Afterall, you'll be happy in a little while anyway.
Never ask to borrow or have a persons bong, bowl, blunts or papers without offering to smoke them up, too.
When scoring for a friend it is never polite to expect that they will just give you a nug, you have to make the decision before hand whether or not to pinch a nug.
The morning after a long night, and it just so happens you never made it back home, never, I mean never, take the last bong load or the last hit left in the pipe. Leave that for the owner of the house.
When toking in a group, make it obvious that you're passing to the next person. No one wants to be rude and grab it but at the same time let's not waste the smoke, or make people ask, "Is that a pass?".
When someone else is hitting, don't laugh or do something to cause laughter until the hit is over and the weed has been passed.
If you are a smoker with children, even if you are comfortable smoking with them around, ask your guests if they feel comfortable as well. It's weird when a kid walks in and sees you getting high.
When everyone has smoked and your buddy shows up late, help him get started fast, it's no fun being the only guy who's not high.
Furry Buddy Smokers
If your animal likes a good buzz, it's all good, but don't leave your stash out where they can get at it. If they eat it, and get very high, they do dumb & uncoordinated things (like falling down a whole flight of stairs, resulting in a broken wrist and herniated vertebrae).
If there is an animal near by that enjoys a good smoke, blow one their way. DON'T EVER FORCE SMOKE TO AN ANIMAL.
If someone starts bogarting the bowl and starts using the excuse that its okay for them to bogart it since it's their weed, this is definitely not cool. The punishment depends on the quality of the weed and how much they put in. (If it was real crappy and they were real cheap with it, then you rag on them.
Never bogart! (i.e. hogging the joint/blunt/piece etc.; "nursing"; keeping the weed being smoked for a longer period of time than necessary, taking numerous hits before you pass. Definitely not cool.)
If a friend gets you high sometime in the future you need to get that friend high...Never ask someone for some Pot when you know they only have a little and you never return a favor to them. You're greedy.
If you are smoking with two other people and you are the middle person, you do not get a hit every time it passes you. Just because you are in the middle does not allow you extra hits.
When you are high, try to be careful about the homeowner's stuff. Being "so high" is not an excuse for breaking stuff.
Don't be the shady one that leaves someone out of a circle just because they happen to be in the next room at that point in time.
Do not smoke and run. It is very rude to smoke at the owners house and then leave straight away, unless they want you to.
Do not EVER jack anyone's lighter, piece, bong, weed, etc.
If for some reason you are to break the bowl/bong that you're using, you are obligated to buy one of equal value in the NEAR future.
If you are with your friends and you tell them you'll smoke with them and get them high as hell, don't tell them if you are only going to smoke about 3 hits worth, cause that's nothing but a weed tease!
Don't ever mess up the rotation. This could cause someone to lose their hit. You would not want to be skipped, so why would someone else want to?
Don't give shotguns so that you can sneak in some hits before blowing especially if it's not your weed. It's shady and obvious (to experienced smokers).
Never steam someone's weed to add weight. Bad Karma!
If you know someone that's always nice to you whenever you have Chronic and never gives a rat's ass about you any other time, let em know you don't wanna be taken advantage of with your Stash. They are called Free Loaders.
In The Car
If the passenger in your car is breaking up the weed, by all means possible, turn corners slow. Nobody likes wasted weed all over their car.
When smoking in a friend's car ("hot boxing"), never open the windows (unless they ask you), this allows everyone to enjoy the smog.
When smoking in someone's car never burn the seats, and if you do, NEVER try to hide it.
Puff Puff Pass. No exceptions!
When smoking a joint or a blunt, don't ash the ashes on the floor if you are inside.
Don't ever ask anyone who doesn't know how to roll a blunt, to roll a blunt. Its just a waste of weed, and time.
If the joint or blunt starts to run (aka canoe), don't just keep on smoking, FIX THE RUN!
If you are going to smoke a joint or blunt and you didn't either buy the smoke or put in on it, at least offer to buy the papers or the Phillies.
If you are smoking a blunt or joint of someone else's weed, ASK them what they want to do with the roach. Some people save them some don't.
Never flick the cherry off of the spliff or blunt. It pisses hot rock all over the place and wastes good drugs.
If you're smoking from a bong and there's not enough in the bowl for a whole other hit, you should save the smoke in the chamber for the next person. (Don't let go of the shotgun and take it all yourself)
NEVER, and I repeat NEVER take a shot of bong water, not even on a dare. It tastes like complete ass and you will more than likely puke from it.
Again, when using a bong, don't blow out the ashes, unless that's what the "homeowner" does.
Don't drool in the bong when taking a hit. There's nothing worse then watching a person salivate in your bong then pass it on.
If you are ever to hit off a gravity bong and cash a whole bowl in one hit, be prepared to spit and cough all over the place, requiring you to need water. Also be polite if your friend needs water and don't hand them an empty cup. Prepare to be stoned as hell.
If the bong spills, don't hide the fact from the homeowner. Offer aid if they select a course of action for cleanup. (And don't forget to put more water back in!)
Never drop the lighter into the water of a gravity bong. Never rest a lighter on the top of your bong. Sooner or later, it'll go swimming.
Suck slow never fast or you will be coughing all over the place, waste your weed and maybe even get a mouthful of bongwater.
Don't hit or knock the bowl if it is not pulling through. Bongs crack, bowls break. Use a poker. If it's your bong hit away.
When smoking a water bong, NEVER, under any circumstances, EVER blow INTO the bong. This will result in the soakage of your Nugz.
The person who rolls the joint (no matter whose weed it is) gets to spark up the joint and get first hits.
If someone rolls a nice joint, it's good to give the person a compliment on their rolling skills.
When it is your turn to hit the joint, take your hit and then pass it on. Some people have a tendency to tell a story or something whenever it is their turn and hold on to the joint for a long time. We call this "Nursing the Joint" or "story Toking".
If you buy weed from a friend or a friend of a friend, it is polite to roll a joint, (a small one, if you wish) and smoke with the person who sells you the stuff.
When the roach gets too small, if someone has a problem with it, put the roach in a bowl and finish it that way.
Always ash the blunt or joint before passing it. It sucks getting ashes on your clothes.
NEVER DROP THE BATTON! but if you drop the joint, everyone who is smoking gets to slap you once; and by all means never let it go out...that's a No No.
When smoking a joint, NEVER try to do your Snoop Dogg (from Half Baked) impression. Trying to power hit will only cause you to suck up the whole thing and burn your lips. True Story!
If someone is too uncoordinated to light the bowl (due to being too stoned or the person is just a retard, then they must relinquish control of the lighter to someone more able to get it lit. This does not mean the person who lights gets free hits... this privilege tends to get abused.
If someone is so stoned that they blow into the bowl and blow all the shit on the floor, this person must be ragged on and the person can't smoke on the next round (unless it was their stuff)...others have told that when this happens, the 'perp' gets a lighter burn, but that is a little too painful for some!
If smoking a joint or a bowl, never put the whole thing in your mouth and get it all sopping wet. It's disgusting.
It is very impolite to hand someone an empty bowl, without notifying that person of its possible cashed-ness. A proper warning would be "Here ya go...I think it might be cashed."
The person who fills the bowl is given the opportunity to take greens (first hit). It doesn't matter whose bowl it is.
When smoking out of your buddy's glass, never clean their bowl or shine their glass for them without asking. They may like the bowl resin-ated, or the glass dull.
When someone asks you if you have a match to their bowl, and you do, it is polite to say so.
To all the Glass Owners keep the mouth piece and the carb holes clean. You don't want to gross out your guest.
Never underestimate the gravitational, stoning ability of RESIN! In times of being "highly" challenged, a good scrapin' of that tired [glass] bowl will yield it's stoning size equivalent, TWO FOLD, to the quality of the forging dank. Remember, recycling is hip now! Not only will happy days shine again; your blazed ass will get to rewatch your favorite pieces recolor. ...And always stash you resin paper clip in the same location...it really sucks when you've lost your basic means of scrapin' the black tar...but in that case, just heat the bowl to about the temperature of Hell, and suck...just be careful not to be the one who gets burned by the scorching bowl...'cause someone always does... =) .............Additionally you can boil your pieces in some water and collect the resin that way. works especially well with glass.
If you smoke with someone in your house, you should let them eat some of the food you may have lying around. Munchies happen, so don't be cheap with your food.
On the other side of this, always offer to go on a food run, especially if the person whose house it is got you high. An even better idea is to go ahead of time, so when the munchies kick in or the dreaded cottonmouth occurs, you'll be prepared and be able to enjoy the high.
If someone does offer you food, don't totally pigout on it. They had to pay for it, and most people have better uses for their money than buying food for their guests. (Like buying more weed)
If someone asks for a sip of your drink, you must give them some. (cottonmouth is not fun)
Converse of the above: if you ask for a sip, don't take a large gulp .
If smoking a lot of someone's treez, always offer to throw down funds or to buy food or drinks...don't be a taker.
The least high one at a smokeout has to order the take out and count the money. If it is done incorrectly it won't turn up and you get no munchies. If you're not high don't be a bitch.